The Emotions of Living Abroad

Have you ever heard of culture shock? Well, according to Wikipedia culture shock refers to the anxiety and feelings (of surprise, disorientation, uncertainty, confusion, etc.) felt when people have to operate within a different and unknown cultural or social environment, such as a foreign country. The shock (of moving to a foreign country) often consists of distinct phases: the honeymoon phase, the negotiation phase, and the adjustment phase.

I have a theory that people living abroad (for 3 months to 1 year) usually experience an intense “expectations shock” together with the negotiation phase of the culture shock, about half way through their stay. A time when one realizes their spoken and unspoken expectations were too high, and that they won’t get close to meeting their goals before their trip comes to an end. This phase (usually weeks) seems to be marked by anxiety, home sickness, mood swings, disappointment, and depression.

So, am I experiencing “expectations shock”?  I’m close to the half way mark of my stay in Tunisia and yes I have started to withdraw a little bit and have lost some of that adventurous spirit I had when I first arrived. The fact that I can only say about three sentences in Arabic and still can’t recognize the numbers when I’m told how much something costs is a bit daunting. And though I thought I had no expectations of my time here, I’m realizing that I did. I expected to make a few Tunisian friends by now who I could visit regularly, I thought I would have learned how to make really good couscous by now, I imagined I would be able to communicate in Arabic a bit better, and I thought I might feel clarity about my future but all I feel is confusion. So yes, I am a little discouraged. Sounds like a minor dose of “expectations shock” to me! Maybe I should try marketing this theory!

“Expectations shock” or not, I find it helpful to be aware of the my hidden expectations, aim to make realistic ones, and keep going on little adventures even when I don’t feel like it. (I mean it’s a little embarrassing to get kicked off a bus because you don’t know how to tell the driver where you’re going, but then again it gives me something to blog about)!